It amuses me every day—the idiosyncrasies of people. As I write this I am smiling. Why? I just read a post by a female who categorically stated that (paraphrasing) she ain’t taking shit from no man. Okay guys, off the bat, while this blog will not be riddled with profanity or impolite language, there will be sprinkling here and there. Let’s keep it real, guys; and I want you to keep it real when you respond or write something. We all adults here, right? (Please reference admin notes on the home page).
It is a fact of life that no one is perfect. As such, there can be no perfect relationships, because people make up relationships, and people are flawed. As people travel along the pathway of life and interweave themselves with others, they develop experiences that impact them in many ways. In some cases, the impact is positive and uplifting; in other cases, the impact is negative and detrimental—maybe not only physically, but also emotionally and psychologically. Arguably, some emotional and psychological hurt takes longer to heal and may leave a much deeper scar than some physical injury that does not cost an eye, limp or life. People carry these hurt around with them as baggage from relationships to relationships, unless someone (or the person) has the patience and commitment to help him or her to shed the baggage. These issues affect not only personal relationships but all relationships. The baggage manifest itself as insecurity, mistrust, fear of commitment, infidelity, aggressive or violent tendency, pessimistic behavior, demeaning attitude, cynicism, lack of confidence, and other relationship killing behaviors. This baggage is also known as the BS in relationships that women (and men) are not taking from men (women).
Now, I am of the belief (and I would love to get your feedback on this) that you are who you are to some extent, based on whom you are with. In other words, your behavior or attitude is in some way influenced by the person you are with. For example, maybe my experience has led me to distrust everyone—even my lover. How will I ever change that belief or mistrusting behavior? Maybe only after meeting someone who creates an unambiguous atmosphere of trust and security with me. I know I can also come to this state of trust by my own self-will, but it would be much harder. The point I am making is that there is going to be BS in any intimate relationships because of people’s baggage. However, with some patience and a commitment to change, you can help that people to become a better individual and create a stronger relationship. Cutting and running every time you encounter people’s BS, will lead you to have many different partners and being single, rejoicing in your affirmation that you are “not taking BS from anyone.” Don’t get me wrong, there is some BS you should walk away from immediately: the BS that hurts you in any way or tries to rob you of your self-respect, e.g. physical or emotional abuse, constant cheating, demeaning attitude, etc. I will end with two thoughts for your feedback: (1) Many individuals who proudly proclaim that they will not take BS from anyone, has just not yet met the right person who makes them want to slow down. (2) Sometimes it takes a little bullshit (manure) to make the grass grow.